I Miss My Breakup

When I remember it, I just feel pride.  I think I knew, even as I was living it, that I’d miss this period of my life when it was gone. It didn’t last terribly long — I was sleeping on the floor of my apartment, trying to cohabitate with my ex. Too much of that would grind…

When Did I Become Afraid of Fireworks?

I used to love our day of independence. I have no reason to be scared of fireworks. I am not a veteran, I have fought in no wars. I don’t wish to pass of as one when I don’t believe I’ve even been next to a gun as it was fired. It’s a noise I…

When Will I Stop Being Angry at My Ex?

Is it okay if the answer is never? There’s a popular (or infamous, depending on your point of view) song that’s gotten some airtime over the last few months. You may have heard of it; it goes a little something like this:  Ba-by shark, doo doo doo doo doo dooBaby shark, doo doo doo doo doo…

Meditations on Mindfulness

It’s impossible not to take some things for granted.  I wear a bracelet everyday.  Honestly, calling it a bracelet may be a bit of a stretch. It’s a copper colored strip of metal shaped like a “C” — or it was until I wore it every day and put bends in it that make it look almost hexagonal….

I’m Losing the War to Try

A relentless dream haunts me.  It whispers in my sleep. It follows me from room to room, as I wake. I wander, weak and weary, though the word it whispers is not “nevermore”.  It’s “try”.  Sometimes, it’s a statement. Try, because you know that you should. Some times it’s a shout, pure rage and hot…

Can I Create in Good Mental Health?

matter is neither created nor destroyed  – Antoine Lavoisier in 1785 It’s noon, on a Saturday.  I’m just now realizing I haven’t eaten or consumed my daily dose of caffeine. For some people, that may be unremarkable, but my work-week routine involves waking up at six to work or read before I continue on with…

The Gratitude of a $6 Writer

I can’t express it enough. I adore the 21st Century. Really, I do. It’s not just that I’m Type I Diabetic, and in any other era I wouldn’t have made it to my teenage years — that is, admittedly, a significant part of it. But it feels like in the great and glamorous now anyone can be…

In Memorial

I wish we treated Memorial Day differently. I’ve thought for the last few days that I should write something for Memorial Day, but nothing has come.  I’m afraid (in the apologetic sense of “afraid”. I’m actually quite thankful) that I have little to personally memorialize.  I am, of course, thankful in the abstract to all…

Don’t Tell Me to Love Myself

I probably won’t listen if you do.  Why does everyone expect me to love myself?  First off, take a hike. You don’t tell me what to do.  Secondly (and a little more rationally) —  How the fuck am I supposed to do that?  You need to know someone to love them. Or so I am told. Even…